Afghanistan Watch: Gulchera's story, from Mursal Women's Magazine

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Here's an article published in Mursal Women's Magazine that caught my eye. While Afghan women still have insufficient access to justice, there are now at least outlets that will air their concerns:

THREE MARRIAGES, TWO MEN Jan 7, (Mursal) translated via Afghanwire: The sun-burnt face of Gulchera, who has suffered too many miseries, absorbs everyone’s attention. We see the tears running from her eyes. She was telling us the story of her life, punctuated with sobs, and sometimes she was not able to speak clearly. I met her a few days in a row in front of the ministry of women’s affairs, and when one day I asked a question about her life, she responded:

“I got married for the third time to one of two brothers. My father in law forced me too much. Recently with the help of almighty God, I left that place and went to my father’s house. I am asking the authorities to grant me justice and assign my fate.”

Calmly, I sat next to her and asked to tell me about her life. MORE

“I was born into a middle-class family. My father is a teacher and my mother is a house-wife. I was 18 years old when I got engaged. My father-in-law was an influential rich man and his wife had died many years ago. He doesn’t have any daughters but he has two sons. My father is an educated person and did not ask for money as the tradition requires. Only on the day I got married was a shop and a few hundred Afghani earmarked as the [Islamic dowry]. In my husband’s house, I realized that he was addicted [to drugs]. During the nights he was completely abnormal and I passed many days in this way. I tried to advise him to leave his bad habits but he did not listen. To tell you the truth, he was not ready to ascribe any value to women. He did not have any sisters and his mother had died many years ago. After one week, our relations finished as husband and wife and I slept alone. This situation continued for less than one year. My father-in-law, who wanted to have a grandson, told me this many times indirectly and finally I told him the truth. ‘I am not able to bear a child from your son because we don’t have the relations of husband and wife.’

My father-in-law was shocked and said, ‘what nonsense you are talking!’ I told him to ask his son about this and about how he is an addict but he left the room. When my husband came home late at night my father-in-law asked him a few questions. He was drunk and started loud voices and called me a liar. As he was leaving the room, he told his father that he wanted to ‘divorce this woman. I don’t need her.’ In the morning he left the house.”

She added, “I wished that my father knew about this issue and would have brought me home. There was no one to take me home, so I waited for my father-in-law to make a decision.

Almost two weeks had passed after this incident when I noticed that my father-in-law and brother-in-law discussing something with each other. One day my father-in-law brought milk and bread to prepare breakfast for 15 men and invited a few relatives to prepare lunch. When I asked the reason, very briefly he told me, ‘today is your wedding day!’ I was shocked and asked, ‘with whom?’

He answered, ‘with my second son.’ I cried and accepted this wedding, but he threatened me and said, ‘we won’t give you divorce and you have to stay with us. You want a husband. What difference does it make whether he is my first or my second son?’

I cried and told him to inform my father and mother, that they would make a decision. My father-in-law imprisoned me in a dark room for three days and did not allow me to eat or drink. Every time he told me to divorce or to accept the wedding. ‘Choose one of the options!’ When I told him that I had chosen divorce, he closed the door and no one visited me until the night. Finally, after three days of hunger, I accepted the wedding.

My father-in-law smiled and said, ‘finally you have become wise!’

He called my brother-in-law and took me out of the room and gave me food and water. Our wedding happened the next day.

My parents were very angry when they first heard about this. I told them the truth and they became calm.

My second husband was a good man. After two years we still didn’t have a baby, and my father-in-law put pressure on me to give him a grandson. He brought several female doctors to cure me and my husband. We received three months of treatment and the doctors gave us medicines. After six months I realized that I pregnant.

I gave birth to a girl, and my father-in-law became very angry because he wanted a boy to inherit his property. A number of female doctors once again started to give us treatment and during this period we didn’t know where my first husband was.

I become pregnant once again and in this period my first husband came home and learnt that I was now married to his brother. He beat us a lot and my father-in-law told him that he had divorced me and that that was why he had forced me to marry his brother. He didn’t accept this explanation.

My first husband forced his brother to divorce me and he married me again.

I tried very hard to resist this and I asked that he send me to my father’s house but no one helped me.

Finally, I married my first husband once again and after three months my child whom I was carrying in my womb died.

One day my parents came to my house. I told them the whole story and asked them to take me home.

My husband did not want to divorce me because if he granted me a divorce I would have an acre of land, money and a shop which was earmarked for my Haq Mehr. My father talked to my father-in-law and after some discussion and argument I was allowed to leave the house.

I am now living with my kind parents and I want to take a divorce, so I came here. Even though I will lose my daughter, I still don’t want to live in that house for a single minute longer.

About Mursal (from the publisher's website):

Mursal "is considered Afghanistan's first nationally distributed women's magazine in history and is breaking ground each week by covering a range of women's issues never before addressed in Afghanistan from women's rights to political participation and the promotion of literacy and preventative health. Given the high rate of illiteracy, especially amongst Afghan girls and women, Mursal is written in an easy to read format and is very popular amongst school girls and house wives.

Mursal is often read by those who are literate in their family or community to those who are not. Like Killid Weekly, it is estimated that each copy of the magazine purchased is shared with another ten people thereby significantly expanding Mursal's weekly print run of 15,000 to an audience of 150,000 a week."

January 08, 2007

Gulchera's story, from Mursal Women's Magazine

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